My friend hung himself with a black canvas belt in his closet one month ago today. These are the facts.
In his final moments, he felt he deserved to hang in his closet like a human shirt.
As an *almost* clinical psychologist, I deal with trauma every day. I never expected to see it firsthand. That being said, there is something so beautiful in the way his death is bringing all of his friends and family together. It says a lot about the wonderfully beautiful life that he lived.
I miss him. Every minute of every day. I was teaching him the moves to the Cupid Shuffle the night he died. My in-laws bought a karaoke machine called the Party Rocker for my sister-in-law’s upcoming wedding. We were out on the deck, dancing side by side and having fun. R was right up in there, being the little light that he always was. There were green and red lights dancing up above and I remember thinking in that moment, “This is magical.”
Now I know how magical it truly was.
I will always miss him. It is unfortunate that in the end, he felt too consumed by the darkness to continue on.
But his death inspires me. To know better. To DO better. All of the things I want to change in the world, well – I’m now ready to start trying.
I love him. And am thankful for the last four and a half months he gave us. I hope you are Cupid Shuffling up there in Heaven. I love you. “‘Til the day we meet again, in my heart is where I’ll keep you friend.” ❤