Carpe Diem

“Nothing haunts us like the things we don’t say.” -Mitch Albom

What an inspirational and profoundly accurate quote.  Whether it be through writing, with loved ones, or in therapy, if there are things that are still forefront in your mind that prevent you from living well – Get them out! Part of life is love and loss.  It is how you handle the loss, the dark times, the difficult moments that ultimately defines you.  We all have our crosses to bear, but it is important to always have faith.

Faith that things will get better.  Faith that things can be better.  Whether it be a faith in God, science, or a purple donkey… It is crucial that you believe in something.  “If you can’t have faith in what is held up to you for faith, you must find things to believe in yourself, for a life without faith in something is to narrow a space to live.” –George Woodbury

Let your past help mold you into the person you want to be.  If you’re unhappy with how things are currently, make a change! Nothing is stagnant in life, unless you choose to be.  Live the life you’ve imagined.  Cast doubt behind you and embrace who you are meant to be.  Find joy in the mundane.  Follow what speaks to you.  Live!

Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is never okay.  With the recent release of the Ray Rice video where he knocks his then-fiancé out cold, this issue is being brought to the forefront.  The fact is, the NFL had access to the footage months ago and decided that a two game suspension was adequate punishment for beating your wife.  It was not until the video was made public that the NFL felt compelled to do anything substantial about the incident.

I do not judge what goes on within a marriage.  That is between the two parties involved.  The Ray Rice incident highlights a much larger issue in our culture at large.  I was horrified to read the comments of “Why did she stay?” and then see numerous individuals make a joke out of the abuse.  As if beating another human being is ever funny.

Perhaps the next time an issue like this is brought to the media, the powers that be will increase pressure on the perpetrator of the abuse to get help.  And properly support the victim.  After Ray Rice punched his wife in the face, we saw the elevator doors open to reveal various bystanders looking concerned.  Yet, they all seemed to hesitate.  Concern clearly showed on all of their faces.  But numerous individuals stood around and watched as Ray Rice dragged his fiancé’s unconscious body out of the elevator doors.

Maybe we can all take this as the opportunity to DO something about this.  It is never okay to treat another living being in this manner, whether it be a woman, dog, cat, or monkey.  It is never okay to do harm.

If you are that upset and conflicted within yourself that you feel the need to strike another living creature, maybe you should take a step back and examine why that might be.  As I’ve mentioned in a previous post about anger, it is a secondary emotion.  Typically, there is sadness and hurt underneath.

Finding healthier coping skills from which to channel and properly express this anger benefits everyone involved.  Society, human relationships, and our wellness overall.  I hope for the day that we can all learn to live peacefully amongst one another.  Until that happens, I think we all have a duty to speak out about this kind of thing.

Instead of questioning why an abuse victim stays, we should all be questioning why the abuser abuses.  We all need to help be the voice for those who do not feel empowered or safe enough to use theirs.

Making Happiness a Priority

If you are unhappy, do something about it.  Nothing is worth being unhappy for.  In fact, my favorite quote is “Life’s too short to be anything but happy.”

Take the time to determine what things make you the most happy in life and set out planning a life you enjoy.  One you don’t need a vacation from.  If your job makes you miserable, find a new job.  If you’re unhappy in your relationship, try your best to work on things, and if at the end of the day certain issues are unfixable for what ever the reason – Take stock of things and determine whether or not staying in an unhappy relationship is in your best interest.  In any of your relationships, be they romantic, friendship, familial, etc…, the single most important factor is whether or not you leave feeling happier after you spend time with that person.  Do you genuinely enjoy their company?

The energy you put out there is what you attract.  And in a similar vein, if you are spending time with negative people, whether voluntarily or involuntarily, make sure to make your health and happiness a priority.  We all have certain situations or people we may not enjoy being around, that is life, do your best to recognize this and limit your time with these people if possible.

As someone who is a happy, optimistic person, I am often left feeling drained when I am around negative people for too long.  With clients, I know how to manage this.  In fact, it is part of the reason they are in your office and is something they are usually willing to work on.  That is something to be commended.  Having the foresight to know that you are struggling with a certain issue and to be actively taking steps to change it.

If someone is treating you badly, it is simply a reflection of how they feel inwardly.  It is up to you to choose how you handle it.

And remember, it is often those who are the most difficult to love that need it the most.

So for today, take the time to do something that makes you happy.  Whether it be a walk in nature, reading, or drinking a hot chocolate.  Take time to enjoy the beautiful fall foliage and appreciate the good things in your life.  There is always, always, always something to be grateful for. ❤